Married Love: Total, Faithful, Fruitful

From Humanae Vitae:

Married love particularly reveals its true nature and nobility when we realize that it takes its origin from God, who "is love,"the Father "from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named."  

Marriage, then, is far from being the effect of chance or the result of the blind evolution of natural forces. It is in reality the wise and provident institution of God the Creator, whose purpose was to effect in man His loving design. As a consequence, husband and wife, through that mutual gift of themselves, which is specific and exclusive to them alone, develop that union of two persons in which they perfect one another, cooperating with God in the generation and rearing of new lives. 

The marriage of those who have been baptized is, in addition, invested with the dignity of a sacramental sign of grace, for it represents the union of Christ and His Church.

This love is above all fully human, a compound of sense and spirit. It is not, then, merely a question of natural instinct or emotional drive. It is also, and above all, an act of the free will, whose trust is such that it is meant not only to survive the joys and sorrows of daily life, but also to grow, so that husband and wife become in a way one heart and one soul, and together attain their human fulfillment. 

 It is a love which is total—that very special form of personal friendship in which husband and wife generously share everything, allowing no unreasonable exceptions and not thinking solely of their own convenience. Whoever really loves his partner loves not only for what he receives, but loves that partner for the partner's own sake, content to be able to enrich the other with the gift of himself. 

Married love is also faithful and exclusive of all other, and this until death. This is how husband and wife understood it on the day on which, fully aware of what they were doing, they freely vowed themselves to one another in marriage. Though this fidelity of husband and wife sometimes presents difficulties, no one has the right to assert that it is impossible; it is, on the contrary, always honorable and meritorious. The example of countless married couples proves not only that fidelity is in accord with the nature of marriage, but also that it is the source of profound and enduring happiness. 

Finally, this love is fecund. It is not confined wholly to the loving interchange of husband and wife; it also contrives to go beyond this to bring new life into being. "Marriage and conjugal love are by their nature ordained toward the procreation and education of children. Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents' welfare."

Finding the Peace of Passive Penance by Father Roger J. Scheckel

To understand mortification in...practical terms and how it might be incorporated into the spiritual life of [the faithful] begins with [a] two-fold manifestation: 

suffering that happens to us, what is known as passive mortification, and suffering we allow to happen, known as active mortification. 

Passive mortifications come in various forms, but they are not the sufferings we experience from having sinned, e.g., suffering a hangover after being intoxicated. Rather, they come to us unsolicited, the consequence of living in a world that has fallen from the grace of God. Passive mortifications can be grave, for example, sickness or injury, the death of a loved one, losing one’s employment. For the most part, passive mortifications come to us in smaller and less severe versions such as a difficult boss or co-worker, a spouse who from time to time is insensitive and uncaring or children who are demanding and unappreciative. 

St. Jose Marie Escriva, the founder of the Opus Dei Prelature often pointed out that our daily life and work provide significant opportunities to experience passive mortifications, primarily through petty annoyances like an unexpected change in plans, instruments or tools that fail us, the discomfort caused us by the weather being to hot or cold. When these small crosses are embraced generously and courageously they help us to grow in holiness. 

Pope Paul VI spoke eloquently about carrying these kinds of daily crosses in his March 24, 1967Address: “To carry one’s cross is something great. Great….It means facing up to life courageously, without weakness or meanness. It means that we turn into moral energy those difficulties which will never be lacking in our existence; it means understanding human sorrow; and finally, it means knowing really how to love.” 

To avoid the many crosses that come unsolicited to our lives each day is to avoid the possibility that God makes available to us to become saints.